It's raining here. Not the short, heavy shower that washes down the city and leaves it feeling clean and fresh. Not the light drizzle that cools and refreshes even as the sun shines through and paints a rainbow.
No, this is a dull, grey, cheerless rain. Continuous, monotonous, inconvenient, depressing.
My morning is not going well. The job classifieds are full of the usual junk. The few that are not have the usual eligibility criterion: Thai nationals only. No response from from any of the head hunters I've sent my resume to. This is not good for my ego.
I did not sleep well last night and woke up with a headache. I have a pain in my gluteus maximus thanks to a weekend of getting destroyed at squash by Moppet's Papa. Um, not helping the bruised ego...
So I'm sitting here, wallowing in self-pity, hating the rain, hating the city, hating my friends who all have wonderful lives, and hating myself for feeling this way.
Moppet arrives, fresh from her morning nap, and climbs into my lap. Surprisingly, she doesn't want to chat, fiddle with stuff, or poke her finger up my nose. For once, she seems to be happy just sitting in my lap.
My very own anti-depressant.
And so we sit, mother and daughter, listening to music, and watching the rain.
Life's good.
Edited to add: Big hugs to all my friends who emailed me in response to this post. You know me and my drama queen ways - things are not really that desperate. Thanks, guys!
7 comments:
Hi !
You write well my girl, inspite of me stealing your posts (heh heh). I faced a similar situation when I was in the US with no work visa, in the middle of the bloody recession. I don't know what your past profession was (before you became a mommy) and I don't know what kind of jobs you are looking for, or what is available in Thailand.
But being the insufferable know-it-all that I am, I will still offer some unwanted advice :)
First: Do you have an option to pursue higher studies? A great time filler - good for the qualification and for the ego. Does not have to be in your chosen profession, could be something you like to pursue.
Second: Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer. This used to work very well for people in the US. Get some thai experience, offer free services, who knows one of them may convert to a full time *paid* job. At the very least, you will meet folks in your profession who will tell you where to look for jobs. (Hint: the classifieds are for deadbeats, they rarely offer any viable jobs)
Third: Long shot but worked for a friend of mine. Try and get a job from India that requires work in Thailand. Or work remote on piece meal projects. Works very well in the software industry. I can help you out in that one, if you are a techie.
Let me know how it goes should you ever decide to take any piece of this advice. Meanwhile hang in there, with Moppet and her colourful personality, who needs Prozac?
Poppins, thanks for the advice! It's not unwanted at all, in fact I'm publishing it on the off chance that there might be others who would be interested in it as well.
A quiet mother-child moment? What's that? Now, I am depressed...
Rohini: Yes, they're so rare, aren't they? I used to love cuddling Moppet when she was younger, but now that she's independently mobile she rarely allows such liberties to be taken! :-)
Motherhood has its rewards package too....i know, hard to believe, isn't it?
ENjoy!!
and it's a dull grey morning in friggin' Texas too!
Thank goodness you added that epilogue.... :-)) Got a bit concerned and was gonna mail you crazy stories of my life, so you would stop worrying so much, and start cursing me instead... :-D
Orchid: There are days, yes. But you're right. Rewards galore! :-)
Tony: Don't let that stop you, pliss! Send me those crazy stories of your life! :-))
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