Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Tagged: 22 things Every Guy Wants to know about Women

Dotmom handed me this tag, which is fast doing the rounds of all the mom blogs, with lots of great posts. I had better do this one pronto or all my answers are going to sound like they came from one of the other blogs.

1.How do you feel after a one night stand?
My feet ache.

2. Do you ever get used to wearing a thong?
Do you?

3. Does it hurt?
Oh no. You should try it sometime.

4. Do you know when you are acting crazy?
Me? Crazy? What? Who told you that? Tell me their name! Now!

5. Does size really matter?
Of course not! (wink, wink)

6. When the bill comes are you still a feminist?
When the bill comes, I'm an opportunist. I never let the opportunity to have someone else pay up pass.

7. Why do you take so long to get ready?
Why don't you take a little longer to get ready? You sure could use it!

8. Do you watch porn, too?
Don't need to, thank you very much!

9. Will something from Tiffany's solve everything?
No. A sincere apology would probably cost you more, but it works much better.

10. Are guys as big of a mystery to you as you are to us?
No. We're not the smarter sex for nothing, you know.

11. Why do you sometimes think you look fat?
Having to hold my breath before I can button my jeans might be a clue.

12. Why are you always late?
I'm not. Why do you assume that a woman will be late?

13. Does it bother you when we scratch?
No, it's natural. Men are just closer to apes on the evolutionary ladder than women are.

14. Do you wish you could pee standing up?
No. But I realise this is a big achievement for your kind, so well done!

15. Why do so many women cut their hair short as soon as they get married?
To relieve boredom.

16. How often do you think about sex?
Nowhere near as often as you do, I'll bet.

17. What do you think of women who sleep with guys on the first date?
Decisive.

18. Would you?
Yes. No. Maybe. Not.

19. Do you realize every guy wants a girl just like his mom?
Really? I'm glad I didn't marry Every Guy then.

20. Why does every woman think she can change him?
Because Every Guy's mom obviously didn't do such a great job.

21. Does it matter what car I drive?
No. It matters how you drive it.

22. Do you ever fart?
Yes. But only YOU can do it on demand.

Gotta say though, if this is really all Every Guy wants to know about women, then no wonder women are still a mystery to him!

Tagging Squiggles Mom (Ha! That'll teach you to be mean to me :-), Kiran (you can do this on your other blog if you don't want it on your mom blog), and Y.

14 comments:

Squiggles Mom said...

I have to hand it to you... that was a killer response to my meanness but this makes you mean too..... hah.

choxbox said...

LOL! *applause*

Just Like That said...

good one. :-D

DotMom said...

#6 had me rolling on the floor!

utbtkids said...

Lurved 19 and 20.

Tharini said...

Excellente!! Just had me in utter splits. God help those men who make your acquaintance!!!

I think I am going to copy paste this and start a forward mail out of it, as a fitting reply to all those corny male sexist jokes!

Just Like That said...

F-i-n-a-l-l-y- did your tag. Check it out. :-)

Orchid said...

kewl! and I can honestly say I didn't expect anything short!

Shobana said...

Loved no.13. I am still laughing and everytime I look at a man scratching, I am sure to laugh.

Fuzzylogic said...

LOL!especially the 6th:)Hop over to see mine!

karmickids said...

Had a ball doing mine dear, thanks...

Itchingtowrite said...

ha ha ha . congrats on the 100th

Swati said...

Great sense of humour !

Thinking aloud said...

hey classic!!! i did this too,preethi had tagged me and it was fun!!!

loved the opportunist part...