Sleep-deprived mother of two,
A Harried and Chaotic Moment, Manic Street,
The Near Future.
Toddler-survivor and mother of one,
A Calm And Reflective Moment, Zen Street,
The Recent Past.
In just a few weeks time (hoping all goes well) you will be upto your ears in bawling babies and excited family members, and calm reflection on second time motherhood will be the last thing on your mind.
So I thought I'd go over those mad first few weeks with Moppet and make a list of what I'd like to do differently this time around.
In those early days, when you feel like everything is spinning out of control, take a 10 second time-out to consider these Commandments:
I. Thou shalt not assume that thou art the only one who can do things just the way they need to be done for the babe. Thou shalt give thy partner a real chance to be a hands-on parent.Love,
II. Thou shalt be more sensitive to thine own needs. Thou shalt not put thy body through the wringer trying to do it all. Thou art not superwoman.
III. Thou shalt call down lightning bolts on anyone who approaches with the babe, saying 'it must be hunger' within 5 minutes of his last feed.
IV. Thou shalt be more flexible about the babe's routine and not let the rest of thy life come to a complete halt.
V. Thou shalt not shush the entire household and tiptoe around the baby while he sleeps. [Ignore this commandment at thine own peril. Dost thou really want TWO children who wake up at the sound of a mouse's sneeze?]
VI. Thou shalt be more relaxed. Babes are tougher than they appear to be.
VII. Thou shalt make time for thy partner. He needs thy love and attention as much as the babes.
VIII. Thou shalt not let random comments about the size, shape, looks, and behaviour of thy babes affect thy sense of worth as a mother.
IX. Thou shalt make time to exercise, even if it is only for 15 minutes a day. The reward of good health and spirit alone is worth it. [But if thou needest material inspiration, consider also the brand new wardrobe thou canst purchase.]
X. Thou shalt not burden thyself with the worries of a future unknown. Glory instead in the sorrows and joys of this moment now and share in it with thy loved ones.