Friday, May 16, 2008

The Ten Commandments of New Motherhood

Sleep-deprived mother of two,
A Harried and Chaotic Moment, Manic Street,
The Near Future.

Toddler-survivor and mother of one,
A Calm And Reflective Moment, Zen Street,
The Recent Past.

Dear Mags,

In just a few weeks time (hoping all goes well) you will be upto your ears in bawling babies and excited family members, and calm reflection on second time motherhood will be the last thing on your mind.

So I thought I'd go over those mad first few weeks with Moppet and make a list of what I'd like to do differently this time around.

In those early days, when you feel like everything is spinning out of control, take a 10 second time-out to consider these Commandments:
I. Thou shalt not assume that thou art the only one who can do things just the way they need to be done for the babe. Thou shalt give thy partner a real chance to be a hands-on parent.

II. Thou shalt be more sensitive to thine own needs. Thou shalt not put thy body through the wringer trying to do it all. Thou art not superwoman.

III. Thou shalt call down lightning bolts on anyone who approaches with the babe, saying 'it must be hunger' within 5 minutes of his last feed.

IV. Thou shalt be more flexible about the babe's routine and not let the rest of thy life come to a complete halt.

V. Thou shalt not shush the entire household and tiptoe around the baby while he sleeps. [Ignore this commandment at thine own peril. Dost thou really want TWO children who wake up at the sound of a mouse's sneeze?]

VI. Thou shalt be more relaxed. Babes are tougher than they appear to be.

VII. Thou shalt make time for thy partner. He needs thy love and attention as much as the babes.

VIII. Thou shalt not let random comments about the size, shape, looks, and behaviour of thy babes affect thy sense of worth as a mother.

IX. Thou shalt make time to exercise, even if it is only for 15 minutes a day. The reward of good health and spirit alone is worth it. [But if thou needest material inspiration, consider also the brand new wardrobe thou canst purchase.]

Thou shalt not burden thyself with the worries of a future unknown. Glory instead in the sorrows and joys of this moment now and share in it with thy loved ones.


~nm said...

Hahaha! Lets see how much you actually stick to them :P

Good list must say :)

Sunita said...

Commandment 5 - Nerve wrecking, so be ready to statue yourself if need be.

SUR NOTES said...

commandment no 3 was the one thing i practiced to perfection. i was a mean mean menace for the rest of the world.

and the rest of them- sensible! do practice them, please.

shall save this list and send it to you as a reminder after a couple of months. and send it to the other moms to be as well. like a 'your baby is one month old' kind of update.

Noodlehead said...

first time here (hopped from Poppins blog) and congratulations :)

this is a great list and i do hope you'll be able to stick to it, especially #2!

BangaloreMom said...

Hee hee..good one. The problem is to keep a clear mind and straight head when ur sleep deprived and the baby is bawling its head off...nevertheless, all the best!!

TESSIE | മഞ്ഞുതുള്ളി said...

loved them sply the last one... sounds like an "applicable to all - pregnant or not" commandment :-)

only 36 more days to go huh?

u know what... evn i am excited abt the fact moppet is gonna have a baby bro...

P.s: i am also an elder sis... my bro is almost 4 yrs younger than me :)

Planethalder said...

Very useful. I will print these out and refer to them in, God willing, 3 weeks time.

Anonymous said...

i think you are hilarious!! where do u get these ideas from?!?

great list.. i will keep it for future reference! :D

Anonymous said...

Mags, been there.

Form my experience,

I, III,IV, VI, VIII comes easily without almost no effort in the path to enlightment.

II, V, VII....needs work.

IX, X....well....needs LOTS of work. I will be Budhha if I reach this. Will let the whole world know with a big announcement :)

Random Vignettes said...

And this is the print out that gets prime position on the fridge..

DotThoughts said...

Totally awesome! loved them. Where were these when Chip was a baby?

Just Like That said...

LOL! Maggie. Thou art totally unique. ROFL my ass off at V.

Shobana said...

The 3rd commandment must be printed and framed and put up next to the baby at all times.

ddmom said...

Loved it. Thou shalt see thy score.
I - Sure. If thy partner accepts not to teach Dlittle to slide off the couch.
II - Work in progress.
III - Doesn't bother me. Unless its my husband or mother, both of who are much more easy going than me.
IV - Still not there with the older one yet. But, for strange reasons, I follow this with the younger one and it works perfectly well.
V - Yay!!
VI - Work in progress.
VII - hmm...
VIII - Comments don't bother me unless its the husband. Everytime I force fed D, I would hear him say - Relax, ease up! She's a baby. I was mighty pissed when on the first year visit, D had reduced from 50th percentile to the 25th percentile. And the man says - We need to increase her feed frequency!!!
IX - Getting there.
X - This one goes on my fridge with a font 20.

Something to Say said...

Note to Self: Thou shalt take a printout and put it on the fridge door and the bathroom mirror - so that thou remembers it.
Good stuff maggie!!!

dipali said...

Thou art brilliant, Madame Maggie.
Now thou but hast to follow them:)
Love you, Mags. BIG HUG.

Poppins said...

I - haha
II - Yes definitely this time
III - Already did it last time, shall practice with renewed vigor
IV - Hmm very important. Thanks for reminder
V - Ditto to IV
VI - Ditto
VII - Really? Ok if you say so.
VIII - This I never did. Thank god.
IX - Yes yes
X - Work in progress for ever more

Lovely lovely list. See, you're doing such useful things for MTB's as well.

Avanti Sané said...

I SO understand III!!
It is so darn annoying..

Orchid said...

you know..i think you are going to be naturally better the second time around..i mean i see many fo friends and they are all say it is breeze ..maybe it has to do with the "been there done that" notion...but its good u are preparing!!

Neera said...

He he!! Great ones! Been there done that! A few personal comments :

V - My elder one takes care of this one. As a result its not surprising (well ultimately) to see the younger one dozing off on the carpet in the living room amidst banging doors and loud yells!

VI - Once again, until its 3 consecutive cries, each one at least 7 seconds long, I am outta it! Kids are tough, I am tougher!!

Oh yes and number III - Cease it as an opportunity to play and cuddle and just relax with the baby for yet another 15 minutes.

Lots of love and good wishes your way.

the mad momma said...

you might have addressed that from me !!

i have to agree with UTBT though.. with the two of them so close.. and just like hers... i have the EXACT same thoughts!!

Homecooked said...

LOL....good commandments. Are they as difficult to stick to as the original ones :)

Mystic Margarita said...

And Amen to that! :) So very practical and universal - should be followed by every parent.

bird's eye view said...

Love these esp. # III - if looks could kill, I wouldn't have been able to have babies # 2 and 3 and been MOL-less by now!

BTW, have you read a book called secrets of the Baby Whisperer? i read it last time and found it very useful.