Thursday, January 17, 2008

But I'm an angel

One would think that Fuzzy's wicked tag would be easy for me. After all, she is so fabulously wicked, and I do consider her my twin.

But here's the thing. She's the sexy evil twin with the pitchfork and pointy red horns. Me, I'm the one wearing that shapeless white dress and sanctimonious expression.

As a result, my career in wickedness has not exactly been stellar. I have had a few moments though:

As a 2 year-old, I was a jam freak. Shopping with my mom at a small co-operative store and noticing that she hadn't bought any 'daam', I toddled off to get some myself. Undaunted by the discovery that the rows of glass jam bottles were neatly arranged out of reach, at the top of the shelf, I proceeded to climb the shelf to get one. The shelves not being built for climbing, came crashing to the floor, glass bottles and all. And what did I get for trying to be helpful? 3 stitches and a scar on my forehead that I carry to this day.

In high school, no one ever suspected model-student-me of being the co-author of a popular parody of a Bollywood hit. Each high school teacher had a verse dedicated to her - they provided such rich material for this that it was ridiculously easy to compose the 7 stanza song. It was sung in school for weeks, with modifications and additions made by assorted anonymous song-writers, so that by the time one of the teachers heard it, it was too hard to trace its origins back to the real culprit(s).

In college, I took the state-wide entrance test for MBA admissions - just for fun. By the time I took the test, I already knew that I was going to one of the IIMs, making the results completely irrelevant. I promptly forgot all about it.

So when one morning, my mom answered the door to a reporter from a local newspaper who informed her that her daughter was the highest ranked girl in the state, she was genuinely surprised. She hadn't even known that I'd taken the test. She called me into the living room and we proceeded to stupefy the reporter with the following conversation:

Mom: "Did you take the state MBA entrance test?"
Me: "Oh that! Yeah, a couple of months ago. Why?"
Mom: "Apparently, you're ranked 6th in the state and first among the girls."
Me: "Really? That's not bad. But how'd you know?"
Mom: "She told me."
Me: "Oh, thanks. That's good to know."

The reporter, used to being fed sweets by ecstatic parents, and receiving quotes from students about how hard work and the blessings of God and parents made it all possible, decided that she had got the wrong address.

Reporter: "Are you Ms. P____ M____?"
Me: "Yup, that's me!"
Reporter: "Aren't you happy about this achievement?"
Me: "Sure." (a shrug) "It's a good feeling."

At this point she gave up, and with a mumbled request for a photo (that I said I'd send her but never did), set off in search of more normal rank winners who would give her a better reaction and some quotable quotes. Poor thing.

And then there was the time I danced on a table in a full mess hall at dinner time, dressed as Scary Spice, along with 4 other girls pretending to be the Spice Girls. (Which reminds me, there must be photographic evidence of that somewhere. It must be found and destroyed.)

So you see, I really am an angel. Right?

Right.

23 comments:

Aryan said...

Wow 6th rank is statewide MBA test..That is great.
I would love to see the spice girls photo..

Swati said...

Ohhh Sure ..thats Right..BTW ..belated congratulations for the MBA exam :D

Mona said...

riiiiiiiight.
you know we believe you.

karmickids said...

Something for you on my blog

Mala said...

Hmm. OK, here's a deal - you post the lyrics to the parody and I won't circulate the Spice Girls photo. (I would have to find it first, but that shouldn't be too hard..)

Wunderyearz said...

Whoa! I have never got to meet such an "Angel" all my life....

qa said...

My God, you came 6th in the state and 1st among girls and that was your only reaction!!! I would be jumping on the sofa even if I would have come 1st in a Jhumritalaiya in a essay writing competition and specially if some reporter came to me for sound bytes :) By the way Belated Congrats.

david mcmahon said...

A long time since we've been in touch, but yes, I was also a jam freak. Before I went to boarding school each year, I had to have strawberry jam in my tuck box!!

Itchingtowrite said...

good ones!! loved the entrance exam one

Timepass said...

Sixth rank in the state in MBA entrance!!! WOW

DotMom said...

You are one smart and evil woman :) I struggled to scrape though Math!!! And before you destroy the Spice Girl pic.. may we look at it? Just once, please??????

Gauri said...

Hey where did my comment disappear ??

Now what did I say earlier ...

Sure you are all angelic and sanctimonious lady - if you say so, that is .... :-D

And there must be more to this, there definitely must be more ....
of that, I'm sure ...

And I do so second Dottie .... we want picture we want picture !!

dipali said...

Lovely post, angel:)

Preethi said...

i loved the daam episode... and congrats on the mba rank.. you truly are a smart angel

Suki said...

Way to go, Angel!

Moppet's Mom said...

Ok, all those of you who want spice girl pictures, please ask Mala! I don't have any :-)

karmickids said...

LOL. Am now backing into a corner mortified at being in the presence of a state ranker, self never even having ranked anywhere in a class of 40. And the pics, we need to hunt them down...

Just Like That said...

WOW! Humour coupled with brains! and only so wicked? You indeed an angel! ;-) Now spill some more beans!

PS. That poor reporter!!!

Poppins said...

Harrumph. Yeah right, if you were the good one, pray tell me where moppet got her wicked genes from?

Got your email but have been such a bum responding. Yep I'm fine still alive :)

choxbox said...

kewl lady!

Mystic Margarita said...

I second Poppin's Mom! We now know where Moppet gets her naughy genes from! But if you insist you're an angel, we'll go along just for kicks!

Sue said...

You know, the 'daam' story is not a good sign of things to come.

But I'm sure that has struck you already. :)

*Waves airily and goes off to have her Maggi lunch*

churningthewordmill said...

i should have commented on this ages back, when i read it , but you know na, back then i wasnt commenting on your blog... better late than never ,right? i re-read it today and just HAD to comment...

i think the "oh my gottt" and the "papa be good" are just tooooo cuuuut!! may be you shoud record her talking and play it for her when she gets older..
mandira