Monday, December 17, 2007

Moppet @ 20 months or Moppet on Moppet

Hello all!

Mama has been sorely neglecting her duties as chronicler of my life's adventures, and despite several reminders that my 20 month update was due 2 whole weeks ago, she has neither lifted a finger to get it done, nor demonstrated any sort of remorse for letting things get to such a head.

Granted, she was rather sick for a few days, but since then all she's been doing is ganging up against me with her mom. It's most annoying. I can't do a thing without those two teasing and cackling and generally behaving like I was put on this earth to entertain them. Sometimes I'm amazed at how deluded adults can be. I mean, it's fairly obvious that every member of my family exists only for my own personal care and entertainment and it takes a special kind of brain wiring not to be able to see that, methinks.

But enough about Mama and her eccentricities; this post is about me. As with all important things in this household (such as emptying tissue boxes, pouring body lotion on the floor, and sticking pencils into every available slot in the furniture), I have realised that the only way to get things done is to do it myself. So here it is, my supposed to be 20 month but actually almost 21 month update:

Although I've tried very hard to teach my folks Babble - the simple but highly efficient baby language, they have been very dull students. I've given up and now speak to them in words they can understand. I speak slowly, each word articulated clearly and correctly so that I don't need to rely on Mama's rather free and overly interpretive translation to make myself understood among the big people. It works fairly well, and I have received several compliments on the clarity of my speech. There is still the minor issue of the 'r' sound, which is the only sound I haven't quite figured out yet, but I'm confident I'll get rrround it soon.

I've got the hang of counting and can identify most regular colours (just don't throw teal and mauve my way), although I can't for the life of me think why Mama thinks it's such a big deal. The first time I casually counted from one to ten, she screamed and clapped and made such an ass of herself that you'd think I'd just told her the value of pi to the 50th decimal.

You know, all this time I thought the reason I didn't always get my way was because Mama was too dumb to understand me. But in last few months I've come to see that the reason is a lot more sinister: she understands what I want but doesn't do it anyway! Preposterous!

But I'm nothing if not persistent and we have a major battle of wills every morning when I insist on wearing a particular outfit, and she insists on giving me something else. I ask you, how much clearer can one get than 'pink dess' or 'flower dess'? Why then does she insist on showing me silly white, orange, and blue dresses or shorts or pants and try to convince me to wear them? Why is it not ok to wear the same outfit every day and what does it matter if it's faded or short or torn? It's beyond me.

As long I was going to playschool I had an out. Mama's still bigger and stronger than me, so she can wrestle me into a dress I don't want to wear, but what she didn't know until recently was that as soon as I reached playschool, I'd make the teacher help me put on the pink ballerina costume they have there. So I'd have my pink dress every day. Ha! And Mama thought she'd won! She has so much to learn.

Take the matter of potty training for example. I realised recently that I could get Mama's attention just by saying the magic word - potty. She drops whatever she's doing and whisks me off to the bathroom where I sit on the pot and enjoy the show she puts on for me. She sings, juggles, blows bubbles, and does a little act with my bath toys as characters. It's great fun and it doesn't matter if I don't actually have any potty to do. It worked like a charm for about a week, and I used it to great effect especially at bedtime when I didn't want to go to sleep. But then she cottoned on and now if I say potty at bedtime she refuses to take me. She says that's ok, lie down now. That can't be particularly good for potty training can it?

And so it goes on - sometimes I win, sometimes Mama does, with the game getting more and more complicated as we begin to understand each other better. It's fun though. Oh and before I sign off, I have a message from Mama who says sorry she's way behind on reading everyone's blogs and she'll come round and figure out all the tags she's accumulated and do them real soon. I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I were you - I've known her all my life and I can say with some authority that she is a lazy bum. A nice, well-meaning bum, though (Hey, she still owes me a Christmas present, I don't want to risk not getting that!)

In case you don't hear from me again before the end of the year, let me wish you all a Merry Christmas and an exciting, adventure-filled New Year 2008.

Love,
Moppet

29 comments:

noon said...

Wow - Moppet - I came by just to see what's going on with you and it was great to see a 20m update! And incredible - at 20m you count from 1 to 10!! Hoorrrayy (as your friend KB here says)!! BTW - that's a great pic of you. Well have a great christmas and wonderful new year - make it increasingly fun for mamma by wearing the same outfit to school every day and insisting on it! :))
Please tell mom that I have missed seeing her at my turf! But happy to see that finally she managed to post something about you after a long time!! Next time she does this, you plan to give her a time out?!

Poppins said...

Merry Christmas to you too Moppet ! So what's Santa getting you this year? ;)

Rohini said...

Sounds just like Ayaan - right down to the trouble with the Rs, wanton misuse of potty time and stubborn temper tantrums over wardrobe choice... we are thick in the middle of the terrible twos in out part of the world...

dipali said...

Lovely. I'd been missing your posts. Moppet's done a brilliant job posting for you, I must say!
All good wishes for a very merry Christmas and a happy new year to the Moppet family

choxbox said...

good show moppet! do ask mom to post more often, well if she doesnt at least you do.

Timepass said...

Nice updates, dear Moppet. Shows how active (!) you are in the household. Merry Xmas to you, Mama, Papa and grandma.

Sue said...

Merry Christmas, Mops. What would you like for Christmas, then? I have to fill a stocking each for a Bhablet and an Uncle V (who insisted he wanted one too) and I really don't know what to get them. Any ideas?

B o o said...

Moppet looks adorable and thats a great update. Happy Xmas to you too. Hope we get to see at least one more post for this year!

Suki said...

Merry Christmas, 20-month old Moppet and her Mama!

(She already counts to 10! OMG!)

Moppet said...

Noon: Thank you. Mama says she missed coming around too and will be along shortly. And hey, thanks for the timeout idea!

Poppins: I don't know yet - although obviously YOU do! ;-)

Rohini: Mam says she's already having nightmares about what her teen tantrums will be like. She's such a drama queen - I don't know why she's surprised I turned out the way I have....

Dipali: Thank you, thank you.

Choxbox, Timepass, Boo: Thanks, and Mama has promised to post more regularly again.

Sue: I can't really help you with Uncle V's stocking, and Mama's even worse when it comes to gift ideas. She's planning to get me lots of small gifts that I can open myself (I love opening boxes and bags) - things like crayons, a brightly coloured bag with lots of pockets and zips, if she can find one(to protect her own purse which I like to open and rifle through), stickers, some plastic gogs (I'm obsessed with Mama's glasses and keep wanting to wear them), a couple of fancy straws, and a small toy or puzzle. Don't know if any of that would interest the Bhablet....

Moppet said...

Thanks Suki, Merry Christmas to you too!

DotMom said...

How I have missed your mama's post moppet. you are on bright girl.. counting from 1-10 already? There is a MIT or Princeton in your future! You look veerry adorable and the next time you of clothes just give your mama a - "I don't have anything to wear" lone. She will TOTALLY relate to that. And do write if your mama is too busy being lazy :)

Kodi's Mom said...

yippee, you're back! Moppet, I vote for your mamma taking more breaks, just so you could give us posts like this one! shh, don't tell this to her, but I definitely like you better ;) btw, you're not going to playschool anymore? or closed for christmas?

mnamma said...

Beautiful update Moppet!!! Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New year!

Daisy said...

Hello there Moppet,
Welcome to the world of Words sweetheart :)!I am sure you will charm many-a-hearts with your newly acquired skill.

Moppet's mom,
"but what she didn't know until recently was that as soon as I reached playschool, I'd make the teacher help me put on the pink ballerina costume they have there. So I'd have my pink dress every day. Ha! And Mama thought she'd won! She has so much to learn."

OMG-really?? I thought all that sneaking out and changing into trendy clothes starts only in high school! you have a tough one there you know!

Orchid said...

Alrighty then!!..way to go Moppet..looks like you are having your way around and that's all that matters :)
A very merry christmas to you all too and hopefully we'll hear form you before the year ends!

Preethi said...

Oh moppet.. arent you a darling.. loved reading this post... and you are smart.. already saying 1 to 10??
Merry Christmas!!! And hope Santa finds out how good you are and gets you loads of gifts!!

Moppet said...

Dotmom: Mama says she doesn't know about MIT or Princeton, but there's certainly a juvenile court in my future if I continue this way! ;-)

Kodi's Mom: Playschool's closed for Christmas. Three whole weeks! Mama says her hair's going grey trying to keep me out of trouble all day.

Mnamma: Thank you, and to you and your family too!

Daisy: Well, Mama's had it too easy all her life. I'm here to change that :-D

Orchid: I heard my teacher telling Mama one day that I was 'so young yet so decisive.' And Mama asked her if that was polite teacher talk for stubborn and she laughed and said she guessed so. So yes, I do know how to get my way :-)

Preethi: Thank you. Merry Christmas to you too!

Fuzzylogic said...

Way to go Moppet!
I used it to great effect especially at bedtime when I didn't want to go to sleep. But then she cottoned on and now if I say potty at bedtime she refuses to take me. She says that's ok, lie down now --Exactly what happens here too!These moms truly are daft beings aren't they?They never realize we are just pretending to let them act cool. Boy,am I glad you are back!Make sure they cough up a good Christmas present though Li'l partner.
Love,
Ina

Aryan said...

Moppet you are very cute about your potty trick..You drop the body lotion and creates lot of work for your mamma...
Take care and have a mery christmas
Aryan's Mom

SUR NOTES said...

you are my kind of gal, moppet! the floors need lotion too. and whats with the new age moms wanting to bring on the yellows,orange etc- whats the problem with the old fashioned baby pink and flowers???
and potty time, counting numbers, indentifying colours, all these are great to get the monkey moms to perform for us!

and have a great two thousand and eight!

sanah@sur notes

Swati said...

Oh ya ..they sure know how to catch mumma's attention. Just a little bit of potty signal wud do and they will have a wicked smile later .."See I fooled you" kinds :)

Merry Christmas to the family !

karmickids said...

Moppet, tell your mom to move over, you're doing a great job of updating us. More power to your ballerina dress. The brat wants to see a picture of you in it. HOpe you evolve to be far more of an individual dresser than them assembly pink Barbie doll outfits all them girls are wearing out here....till your next update.

ddmom said...

Oh Moppet darling, we missed you so much! No wonder your maama is slim and trim, you do give her a run for her life. You are right on track, keep it up. Oh, and you look ccuuuuuteee...
Have a wonderful christmas and a wonderful new year!

Swati said...

Great post! it's so hilarious.. I am already rolling on the floor!! :) :)

Parul said...

Awesome update moppet dear. And wow - already counting to 10, that is truly outstanding! Come back soon to post :)

qa said...

Hey...great post :) Wish You a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New year.

Just Like That said...

Aww.. Moppet, your Mama too knows what you want and still doesn't give it..?! Mine too. We need to teach them a lesson or two about listening and obeying.. and practising what they preach!

MerrrrrrrrY X'mas to you and your family. And I do hope you get to wear your 'pink dess' on X'mas day at least.

Just a grail said...

Moppet, you are an amazing girl! Counting to 10 and running the house and still finding time to post.
Beautiful and strong willed, that is awesome. I have a 5 year old you may want to meet!!

Hope your Christmas was great and Santa came thru with at least one new pink dress!